<antinomy> do Argos stock sex toys, then?
* mbm doesn't think so.
* antinomy notes she's been surprised at what it's possible to get from Argos
>Every now and again someone publishes a "we got a monkey to throw darts at the
>stock page and it beat 60% of the mutual funds" story.
It's not true, though. Have you ever actually tried to get a monkey to throw
darts? -- mcrosby@cugc.org and sethb@panix.com
and now has an admin-intensive 'antivirus' and anti-spam rig nailed into it,
thus doubling its size, which should now rightly be called 'job-security.cf'
-- John Hawkes-Reed
> Attached are new Configure.pl and config.ht files. Feel free to rename
> config.ht if you want.
I did. Thanks, applied. Now go to sleep. :)
-- Brent Dax and Simon Cozens
And they're calling it Infinite Justice to disguise the fact that they're
convicting a man on no evidence with no judge and no jury.
-- Simon Cozens
Still, if there's one good thing about Bush, he can even make Tony Blair look
like a statesman. -- Simon Cozens
Tony Blair had a [wait 3 seconds] speech which I heard on the [wait 3 seconds]
radio the other day. Unfortunately, [wait 3 seconds] I can't remember anything
that [wait 3 seconds] he said, only the gaps that he [wait 3 seconds] left in
random places. -- Richard Kettlewell
<jaffa> so if anybody cares, I'm STRIPPING LIVE ON IRC
<lathos> Oh, I am an evil man.
<lathos> One should probably not relink object files with vi.
<lathos> What's more disturbing is that it works.
<rejs> Is that your final answer?
<huggie> Can we /msg a friend?
<rejs> yes
<rejs> You've also got 50-50 and Ask the Google.
The American legal system is of course just the British kernel with a shorter
uptime and a few clumsy security patches slapped in. -- NTK 2001-10-05
Why should he have to provide reasons? He's a manager. -- Simon Cozens
The writing system lives at 1403-157C Unicode Street.
-- Dan Sheppard on Inuit
If I sighed every time someone did something stupid, I don't think I'd have
time for much else. -- Simon Cozens
> If being dropped out of an aircraft into what is, for all anyone knows, a
> minefield is ``moderately rough handling'', what would constitute ``rough
> handling'' or ``very rough handling''? Just out of interest.
Being shipped UPS. -- David Richerby and Dave Brown
> It is irrational to believe in magic sky pixies.
So how do you explain all the threading patches?
-- Dave Cantrell and Paul Johnson
"good lapsang"... yikes. You might as well infuse charcoal briquets.
-- Ron Echeverri
Oh, and I'm 41U, in sysadmin height units. -- Anthony de Boer
``Hi! I'm your new Sirius Cybernetics cruise missile fitted with our latest
generation of Genuine People Personality[TM] and, boy, do I think today's going
to get off with a bang!'' -- David Richerby
> After all, where would I find 200 virgins at this time of night?
> (With my reputation?)
A few university computer rooms would probably do.
-- Janet McKnight and Richard Kettlewell
>Especially yoghurt. Particularly yoghurt aimed at young children.
And here was me thinking that babies normally aim yoghurt at you...
-- Aldabra Stoddart and Lucian Wischik
what he actually said was "hey, I'm bored lets go and get stoned" rather than
"hey lets get a Go board and some stones"
-- Robin Szemeti
The Natural Law people, on the other hand, probably wouldn't be much good at
this war thing. Yogic Flyers are all very well for a laugh, but they're not
so hot at bombing the shit out of whoever has the big target symbol painted on
them this week. -- Matt McLeod
>Absolutely. Who's to say $DEITY's 7 days weren't a bazillion years long each?
``And on the eighth day, God said, `Let the Earth rotate quite a bit faster.'
And it did and God saw that it was good.''
-- John Dow and David Richerby
Ah, that explains why fat and slow americans like their motorized cages so
much: it keeps them safe from their predators.
-- Tony Finch
This email should NOT be redistributed please.
(seen at the top of a globally accessible web page)
>In fact, excluding motorized transport, [cycling]'s the most energy-efficient
>form of transport known, including the rest of the animal kingdom.
I'll bet a bicycling leopard is more efficient. :)
-- Tony Finch and Dan Sheppard argue about cycling
Indeed. I'm confident that fully 100% of the energy ever expended by any
bicycling fish has been transferred into kinetic energy without loss.
-- Simon Tatham explains about 100% efficient fish, and cycling being an
efficient mode of transport.
I see that I already have the code in the loop for input over TCP/IP. The
comment there says "(I don't know if there are any such systems, but leaving
this code here can do no harm.)"
I've fixed this for Exim 4 by correcting the comment. <grin> -- Phil Hazel
<dipsy> mbm is in Kake's living room. or Matthew Byng Maddick or london.pm's
resident mail pedant :) or the flamewar king or london.pm's resident
dns pedant :)
(I *have* to share the question I just got asked: "You know how some software
makes animal noises when you do anything? Well how do you turn that off?")
-- Janet McKnight on why she doesn't like Tech Support
> Why do you *assume* he was trying to contradict you?
It's a good default assumption on netnews? :-)
-- Janet McKnight and Simon Tatham
<Rich> "for the code which we are about to receive, help us God..." !
If we're doing quotable quotes about war, how about this: The first world war
was the war to end war. The current war is the war to end terrorism.
-- Tony Finch
# rpm -remove --force --doitdammit --yesIfuckingmeanit sendmail
-- Yann Golanski on replacing sendmail the DeadRat way
debug("pop goes the stoat %s", buf);
-- Norcroft C Library
<antinomy> believe me, when you've spent two hours handling all manner of
disembodied penises, it's very tempting never to go near another
one again...
<lathos> It's true. BSD people are straighter than Linux people.
* rejs consults his Dell documentation
<rejs> The useful manual is the slim one, not the great thick one. That tells
me how to sit at a chair in an ergonomic manner in seventeen Slavonic
and Oriental languages.
They were giving out the proper blinking LED daemon horns at BSDCon last
weekend which was good, but you'd look a right pillock wearing them while
cycling down the road.
-- Tony Finch
Them: Pshaw. We solved [parrot's current] problems thirty years ago.
Us: Yes, but your solutions are unpublished, unadvertised, impossible to
comprehend and applied solely to ML or Scheme.
Them: So? -- Simon Cozens summarising a conference at MIT
<quidity> To Dreamweaver. v. make a complete bollocks of an html document.
When I got my Libretto (a PC about the size of a hardback novel) my colleagues
decided that it was too small to be a laptop so it must therefore be a dicktop.
-- Tony Finch
[Life]'s all one big information theory exercise. -- Chris Ball
Okay, next time I'll just *start* with the assumption that you haven't a clue
what you're talking about, and not bother trying to understand it.
Thanks for the hint.
-- Janet McKnight (to Tony Finch)
I could have named both my cats Scuzzy. One is Ultra/Fast, the other is Wide.
-- Rik Steenwinkel
send stuff to me by carrier pigeon - that way i get target practice & supper
thrown in too... -- Adam Laurie on cutting postage costs for the company.
The one unifying factor I can find is Jar-Jar Binks. Oh, and Anakin Skywalker
comes across as being irritatingly cute, too. And midichlorians - you *don't*
explain the Force with treknobabble...
-- Peter Corbett on why people hate "The Phantom Menace"
Or you forgot the 99th digit of pi, simple:
99[lslc+vsslp2*ls/splslk+lc>a]sadk_1*sk10lk^sk0ss2dscsplaxlppq
-- Odd Einar Aurbakken explains dc
If you built a youth hostel on the moon it would fill up with Australians
somehow. -- Matthew Crosby
> fruit flies like a banana.
... steers like a cow.
-- Janet McKnight and Simon Tatham
>> I was. You just weren't trying hard enough to be SEEN.
> We had a SHEEP on our table. What more did you want?
A bigger sheep. -- J-P Stacey and Jacqui look for each other at a meet.
> One vi to rule them all, one vi to find them, one vi to bring them all and in
> the darkness bind them, in the land of [*mumble*] where the shadows lie.
Which vi would that be, then?
-- Anthony de Boer and Tony Finch
<mobbsy> OK, performing seal time again. Arf Arf. Watch the seal juggle
E450s, then disappear in a puff of marketing.
> Or does anyone know of a good Exim tutorial (aimed at newbies), I searched
> Google but it did not come back with much.
Have you bought my book? :-)
-- Phil Hazel shows people on exim-users
People ask me what I do for a living, and I tell 'em "I type". It's accurate,
and easier to explain than "I administrate a cluster of IVR computer telephony
and occasionally pull shifts in the Mail Ops NOC." What do I do, really? I just
sit here at my desk, and I type. I am a good typer. -- Huey
So the moral of the story is, always disconnect the red cable on your monitor.
Now if only I could find the "HTML e-mail" cable and disconnect that...
-- Alan J Rosenthal on how to make a web page more readable
> Speaking of which, there's a local company called Streams that has a robot
> that runs fibre through sewers and tacks it to the inside top of
And if they ran SCO then it could be fairly said they were a SCO Opensewer
based company! -- Anthony de Boer and Stephen Harris
There is no gratitude - only irritation if, for any reason, the newly invented
conveniences break down. Men don't spend their time thanking God for cars;
they only curse when the carburettor is choked.
-- Aldous Huxley
<lathos> OTOH, the inside of OUCS is confusing as hell anyway.
<lathos> It's three three-story houses knocked together.
<lathos> This means we have lots of staircases leading here there and
everywhere. Interior design by Escher.
#define PLEASE
PLEASE while(1) { /* blah blah blah */
printf("don't do this, man...\n") PLEASE; }
-- Anthony de Boer
I'll buy a pint (of bitter or cider or maybe even lager if you sweet talk me)
for anyone who finds a bug in the 5.7.2 numeric code. I'll buy (at least)
another pint if you supply a patch to fix it.
-- Nicholas Clark (who wrote the code)
<rejs> One of my ancestors was a Ms Zxkuqyb.
<rejs> She married a Mr Scrabble.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic
-- Arthur C Clarke
<ti> Why does the effect of $PROGRAMMER on OO design resemble the effect on a
steel structure of machine-gunning one of the creatures from the _Alien_
trilogy???
* Senji can still see the Zeus building.
<mobbsy> They should have called it Olympus, not "Zeus House"
* Pinkbeast spots spam for 'barley legal teens'. I wouldn't want illegal
barley.
<steph> Mm, hot arable XXX.
buggers who use Hungarian notation for no good reason and come up with
structure fields that sound like street names from R'Lyeh
-- Alexander Viro
My housemates sometimes seem to think putting trash in the bin is some kind
of advanced version of Jenga. It'll get stacked up on top of the full bin.
-- MegaZone
<kaet> "Yasser Arafat was personally responsible for over a dozen suicide
bombing attempts". Not very good at them, was he?
Norton SystemWorks 2002 includes a file erasure program called Wipe Info. In
the manual (page 160), we learn that "Wipe Info uses hexadecimal values to
wipe files. This provides more security than wiping with decimal values."
CRYPTO-GRAM, December 15, 2001
sub UNIVERSAL::DESTROY{print};s//Just Another Perl Hacker/;bless[],a
Humans are cruel. That's one of the things that separates us from animals.
-- Doug Lang
<lathos> Pakistan are our allies! Pakistan have always been our allies. We
have always been at war with Oceania.
Of course, the herd will use Microsoft Relationship Manager (complete with
Excuse Wizard)... "Sorry, honey, can't see you tonight, I've got to perform an
illegal operation".
-- Roger Burton West
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
-- Donald Knuth
The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us
nothing.
-- Andre Maurois (Emile Herzog)
Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting
than it really is. -- C. Schulz
Being in Star Wars changed my life. It made Princess Leia famous, and I just
happened to look like her.
-- Carrie Fisher
It's a good film, but ... get a life!
-- Carrie Fisher on Star Wars fandom and the fans that
"see it 314 times"
I'm no fan of lawyers or litigation, but it's high time that someone defined
"buffer overflow" as being equal to "gross criminal negligence".
-- Henry Baker <hbaker1@pipeline.com>
What do you call someone who had a C average in law school? "Your honor."
-- Michael Sierchio <kudzu@tenebras.com>
Saying that SSL without certificates is fine as long as you don't have active
attacks is kind of like saying that leaving your front door open is fine as
long as noone tries to break in.
-- Eric Rescorla <ekr@rtfm.com>
<Diziet> Usual download rate for Putty is 1685 Mb/day, mean.
<Pinkbeast> diz> gosh, that's more than a small pr0n site.
<mobbsy> PuTTY is the new pr0n
[about PuTTY and the likeness of PuTTY to pr0n due to high download bandwidth]
<Pinkbeast> 0.53 will litter your desktop with javascript popups promising
"BARELY LEGAL CRYPTOGRAPHY".
<mobbsy> Apparently, "unbreakable" doesn't mean that it won't break. "can't
break in" doesn't mean there are no security holes. It's an expression
of a concept, rather than a statement of fact. People outside
marketing have a handy jargon term for this - "bollocks".
<Rich> maybe you want to play "bullet in the head"
<monkey> "a bullet in your m/f head"??
<Rich> don't phone the samaritans, monkey, you'll only cause them to jump
out the window
<col-work> Hm, I see a 'properkey' variable here. I have a sudden urge to add
some code saying ASSERT(properkey == theft).
<mobbsy> All Larrys are one - Larry wrote Perl, Larry runs Oracle. There is
only one Larry.
<Pinkbeast> You can deduce this from the improbability of two different Larries
being Japanophiles.
<lathos> Yay! F33r my 7337 D3b1i4n1zat10n 5killz!
<doop> YM "ph33r"
(lathos is apparently not so 1337 after all)
Philadelphia is like Usenet. Parts of it are wonderful; parts of it are
abandoned and covered with grafitti.
-- Rebecca Ore
* ti quite mad today
<Rich> you want a personal barometer... "mad in the afternoon, becoming loony
later"
You can tell they are ueberhackers because they thought a studly kernel hack
was easier than persuading a professor to learn how to use mh properly.
-- Tony Finch
<rejs> Eurotunnel in court - they'd need a bloody big room to hold the train
"That's like translating from LISP to French, it won't work"
-- Tim 'Ti' Sweetman
> I want to change date 9/9/1987 to 09/09/1973 was wondering, what is the most
> efficient way ?
A time machine.
-- Pradeep Sethi and Bart Lateur
<steph> FitzRoy isn't a sea area, is it?
<rejs> Well, not until 12pm.
<Senji> Its all the fault of the spanish!
<rejs> Nobody expects the Spanish imposition!
I don't like all the comments, they make [the code] look scruffy!
-- Robin 'Monkey' Darby
<ceb> I have no brain today.
<rejs> I have one, but it is masquerading as an elderly lettuce.
* antinomy has had a brain indistinguishable from tapioca for a while now
> you can't photocopy a fish and have it remain edible.
This probably explains a lot about Caius hall.
-- Peter Ellis and James Coupe
I've never heard of Spring Bank Holiday, but I like the sound of it. I would
also like a Talisker Holiday.
-- Darrell Fuhriman
<lathos> Reassuring mail from Easynet re why my router decided to start
listening on 192.168.254.254.
<lathos> "It fancied a bit of a change."
<mobbsy> If you sit quitely in a machine room you can just hear the faint
"brk, brk" of the mating call of user processes trying to attract
the attention of a vm subsystem.
it's equivalent to saying that A zweegles fooble B morgong: it may well be
true, it may well be false. Until we know what the words mean, we can't tell.
-- Richard Watts
<kym> i have found a bug/feature in perl.
<kym> if you execute enough random punctuation characters
<kym> it prints to stdout "just another perl hacker"
<ti> If the README is excessively clear, please let me know and I'll confuse
it.
<Socks> What should rt do with HTML mail?
<doop> Send a reply in DVI
We don't have politics in this country, we have Tony Blair.
-- Rory Bremner
[Identity Cards] didn't get supported by the tories, because they don't have
one -- Rory Bremner
<srini> I was referring to tim's lack of noticing the large collection of
romantic flowers coming out of every orifice
<Sys64738> Every orifice?
<Sys64738> Eww
<Kosai> It's just so insulting. It's not like I'm single and lonely just
because I'm watching TV alone at midnight. Oh, wait.
Trekkers are Trekkies who are ashamed of being Trekkies.
-- Calle Dybedahl
<Acronym> "for every popular language, there exists a crap program which is
widely used"
<mobbsy> "Can your product backup and recover in real time, with no loss of
service?" Yes, and it can keep pigs aloft for 14 hours, with an 8500
mile range.
[network engineer turned police officer] he'll enjoy his job and whilst he'll
still be dealing with lusers (abit of a different type) he'll have the powers
to do something about them :)
-- Simon Burr
<mobbsy> "Online porn watchdog"? Why aren't they called Ofwhack?
[referring to the IWF]
<nou> In my experience, men are more often guilty of ["helpfully" tidying up
such that you can't find anything anymore]
<doop> That's because you're pathologically untidy.
<fanf> the question is not why i am running an os with 30 years of history, but
why others are ignoring 30 years of accumulated experience
<rejs> Well, I'm not ignoring the 30 years of accumulated experience [...]
which can be summarised as "don't run VMS" :-)
* mbm 's cow-orkers have put his payslip in an envelope addressed to "Goth"
<Pinkbeast>For values of 'goth' equal to 'less trendy than cow-orkers', perhaps.
<fanf> i have seen some of mbm's colleagues and trendy doesn't really describe
them
>Well, you don't _look_ English. You've got all your teeth.
You don't look American - you don't have a gun rack in your pickup truck.
-- Josh Brandt and Peter Radcliffe
>Or did the Scottish "universities" have to do with sheep and various uses?
They taught the Three Rs: Readin', 'Ritin', and Routin' the English.
-- Mike and Greg Andrews
> One of the problems of being a Scot (which I am) is that the Scots accent
> makes people sound truly stupid.
"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a Scouser"?
-- John Dow and Simon Cozens
My main systems here at the office would have much higher uptimes, but we have
an MCSE with access to the server room.
-- Mike Dresser
> It undermines my faith in Government
Happily, I have never had any.
-- Donald Ramsbottom and David Biggins
> I opted for food+drink followed by decoration. I'm not sure why :)
Hmmm. Do you count inviting attractive guests as a means of providing
decoration? :-)
-- Matthew Vernon and Simon Tatham
> Laughter is infectious because of quantum microtubles in the exhaled vapour.
> Obviously.
Ah. This may be the reason I find Penrose's consciousness as an extension of
quantum gravity funny. -- Andrew Mobbs and J-P Stacey
* mbm remembers why he hates sendmail.cf . It really is like reading linenoise
in places.
* Honk always thought line noise looks more sensible than sendmail.cf
<mbm> Fetchmail, reliable! fantastic!
<lathos> It's *reliable*. :)
<lathos> I can rely on fetchmail to delete large quantities of mail for me
without assuring that it was delivered successfully.
<ti> "This code is sacred: everyone who sees it the first time reacts:
'Jesus Christ!'"
Kate denies being easy.
-- Kate S
The memo in the internal magazine, written by Simon Packer, head of BA's Safety
and Evacuation Systems. said: "Your exotic practices in the bedroom are your
own business, but please stick to the Ann Summers furry handcuffs. Replacing
the ones from the restraint kit is costing BA a fortune."
[Oracle's work unit licensing], however leads to gainful employment for people
who'd otherwise be cluttering up park benches. Justify your job for a whole
year by reducing Oracle CPU use by just 5%. :-)
-- Andrew Mobbs
<lark> and advertising another policy whose major restriction is that you can't
commit suicide within the first 12 months..
<Diziet> Yeah, I always have that. I try to commit suicide, but it doesn't
work because my insurance won't let me.
* lathos wishes the nice people at telehouse would stop playing russian
roulette with the patch panels now.
<Diziet> I've looked at it's web page, it's just a logo.
<mbm> there's one link on it.
<Diziet> `hunt the link'
<rejs> Maybe [name elided] will stop whining about it
<rejs> Maybe PigAir will start operating on the Heathrow-Newark route
> NetConnect is a Internet Security company, and as such we have a policy of
> firewalling all networks.
This is security by sympathetic magic, and it does not work.
-- Peter Kern (NetConnect Administrator) and Ian Jackson
<mormegil> what's current FreeBSD?
<fanf> 5.0-KABOOM
<mbm> what I don't understand is what ``security benefit'' he can possibly
claim from netconnect's point of view is gained by putting chiark
inside a firewall.
<steph> Unga munga, firewall good, ooga booga. *wave stick, shake maracas*
Well, only wankers usually don't appreciate quality dance music.
-- Chris Buckley
We asked Matthew Garrett's IRC log files if Chris Buckley had ever asked
him for advice concerning a relationship. Chris, your answer was no. Let's
see if Matthew Garrett's IRC log files agreed with you.
/sound ff_wrong.wav -- Matthew Garrett
Twinkle, twinkle little LED (now I know what's in your head)
-- http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/55/24347.html
* lathos tries very hard to respond to "How do I see dead tickets?" with "Have
you ever watched Sixth Sense?"
<doop> I inflict collateral damage; you have questionable foreign policy; they
butcher innocent civilians.
<lathos> nou: He's Australian. Subtlety isn't a strong point.
I don't know if it's been designed by committee, but it's certainly been
implemented by fuckwits.
-- pod on The Grid
How fortunate we are in having a prime minister who cannot tell the
difference between terrorism and war.
-- Simon Cozens
<lathos> rejs: Warning - Ray is about to post something to a certain mailing
list that you should not read while drinking coffee.
<rejs> That's OK, I don't drink coffee.
Congress may as well legislate that water has to run uphill. All the
legislation in the world can't change the fact that you have this content and
if you listen to it or see it, then you can copy it.
-- Dan Wallach
<monkey> There was once a monkey from Reading // who used old fivers for
bedding // But when they got old, // the truth be told, // he used
them to pay for his wedding!!!
Well, I do like to cultivate a certain bofh image ;-)
-- Hanna Wallach
<stargirl> I think compsci is more satisfying on a deep and meaningful level -
physics induces a deeper and more unshiftable headache ;-)
[Calendar Express] is express in that it doesn't stop until it gets to the next
place -- Tim 'Ti' Sweetman
Entry is free; but do bring your cheque book :)
-- Richard Clayton launching "Friends of FIPR"
<Krystof> Don't we know why [Bjarne Stroustrup] came up with the disaster that
is C++?
<Krystof> Job security, no?
<nou> There is a Triffid in the kitchen.
<doop> Say it with flowers...
Q: Where does one find an informed e-commerce target market?
A: On the shelf over there, between the bottles of prop-wash & that stack of
left-handed screwdrivers. Watch out for the flock of pigs circling under the
ceiling. -- Lionel Lauer
<rejs> Stupidity is like entropy: both always increase
"Oblix NetPoint creates a unified e-business infrastructure by providing an
integrated access control and identity management solution that can be extended
to all e-business initiatives. It gets its power and flexibility from a
three-tier Web services architecture." (Oblix NetPoint Product Description)
<doop> What's he doing to inspire the wrath of OUCS?
<rejs> Breathing.
<stargirl> look at /etc/apt/sources.lust
* stargirl wonders when dinner will be ready
* moray advocates apt preferences files
<stargirl> moray: instead of dinner?
A team of elite network engineers is sent into deepest Oxford. Armed only with
a Fluke cable tester and an adjustable screwdriver, they fight their way down
Banbury Road, evading patrols of hostile traffic wardens...
-- Steve Kersley (quoted by Robin Stevens)
<nou> men++
<Erwin> what have men done?
<nou> Been nice to me and made me happy (yes, men plural, three of them
tonight so far (no not like that (well not all of them)))
>For W2K:
>Add Printer Wizard -> ...
ISAGN for a freeware program called Balrog.
-- Lee Ann Goldstein and Anthony de Boer
<FluffyCat> Diziet: JOOI, how many of these sorts of arguments have you won in
terms of end results as opposed to morally winning? :-)
* stargirl has rat food and straw in her bed... hmm...
<Krystof> rats have rat food and straw in their beds
<Krystof> We therefore deduce...
<xcap> ...that you can prove anything with logic.
<FluffyCat> Cron continues to stalk me
<mobbsy> It's when cron starts to ytalk you that you have to worry
<Art> Are you poly if you sleep with someone who is?
<lathos> Not necessarily. It's not contagious.
<lathos> There's also an important distinction between poly and slut.
90% of everything...
...produces water.
-- Phil Kendall
<monkey> hay its a quote from Bob ~ slaves who made 'monkey' warfare on english
troops in jamica.
<ti> "monkey" warfare - ;)
<Piglet> "bananas at dawn"
<mobbsy> The lines on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down.
I'm tempted to send the Master a comforting note explaining how this won't
affect my giving to the college, since although Pembroke's corruption may be
newsworthy to the national media, it's certainly not news to its former
students. -- Simon Cozens
<mk270> there is a stodgy, but universally consistent, dung-like constituency
to the space of all mlm systems
* rejs stuffs the parrot with polyfilla
<LNR> can someone turn it into a polygon please?
<rejs> Gone to meet its maker.
<Pinkbeast> So it's just a sort of token parrot. A polynominal.
<mobbsy> Debian does away with the upgrade problem by never putting out a new
release
YKYBHTLW your dictionary suggest "ash" and "sash" as correction for ssh and
you think "God when did I enter shells into the dictionary?"
-- Ian Dobbie
<mk270> my sister, who comes across as a boatie pisshead, steals my o'reilly
C++ books
<mk270> she's afraid of the mac because there's no commandline
<Diziet> [...] And the block packed up on Monday on the way to RMS - the
freewheel became free in both directions.
<mobbsy> The dangers of taking your bike to an RMS talk, it gets ideas about
freedom.
<wham2001> If I ever want to annoy mbm, I should mis-spell "weird" in a
top-posted email with lines that are too long asking some question
about MTAs that reveals my complete ignorance of how mail works :)
<wham2001> (And advocating Netscape Mail)
<rejs> Forget the angry flower, mbm is the angry Kew Gardens
<Art> Dishwashers are almost as good as sex.
<Windle> Hmm. So what does it mean if I have a dishwasher but never use it?...
<Kami> You have too much sex, obviously, and don't appreciate the dishwasher.
[about qmail-1.03/datetime.c]
<Senji> /* day 0 is march 1, 2000 */
<rejs> yeah, what the hell is that?
<rejs> date his last braincell mutated into a tadpole?
[about qmail-1.03/datetime.c]
<Senji> (the first day of djb-era is a Monday (=1))
<rejs> # On the first day of era, my qmail said to me...
>I learned from my parents to look _under_ cars while driving in residential
>areas. If I see feet, I slow _way_ down, because that means there's a kid
>there, and they'll just fscking run out into the road without a thought.
Or you're passing Fred Flintstone, of course. -- Mike Andrews and Malcolm Ray
<Diziet> Did I tell you about the utopia that lies ahead when my todo list is
all done ?
<Tersono> though by manageable I do mean 'know where to panic' rather than
'wibble randomly and run round in circles screaming 'it's all
broken''
<rejs> Request to hostmaster:
<rejs> "Change Sarah [****] to Michael [****]"
<lathos> "Will you supply the scalpel?"
> If you take his comment at face value
Whoa, this is oxbridge.tat after all.
-- Ganesh Sittampalam and Simon Cozens
<stargirl> I got woken up to the pleasant sound of my kernel being catted to
/dev/sound/dsp
<xcap> any particular reason?
<stargirl> to wake me up?
<FluffyCat> Tim: You're pathologically socially maladjusted rather than just
socially maladjusted, though
<bzip2> FluffyCat: Whats the difference?
<FluffyCat> Tim: Only one of them is likely to get you arrested
<FluffyCat> You too now have a small probability of being humiliated next time
mbm sends an email or posts to Usenet!
<rejs> I watched Buffy once. I didn't see what all the fuss is about
<Kami> I think the fuss is about two things.
* murb likes ITV digital's new anti-piracy scheme.
<rejs> Being switched off?
<murb> yep.
<rejs> The Queen Mother did Quantum Mechanics? Makes a change from Ali G
impressions, I suppose
<rejs> (Is it because I is Royal?)
<FluffyCat> Tim, surprising as it may be, there are few women who are genuinely
attracted by the rate at which your machine fork()s.
Finding errors in _Applied Cryptography_ is like finding sand on the beach.
-- John S Denker <jsd@monmouth.com>
<FluffyCat> It's sort of Father Jackish
<FluffyCat> Instead of "Drink Feck Girls", it's "Warez, Buffy, Pr0n"
<rejs> Oh dear, someone gives the following objective on their resume: "To
utilize my knowledge in Networking Software and passion in Software
Development to become part of the force that makes a better world."
You'll see from the thread there that other people are not in total agreement
with that (hi Greg), feel free to take the argument down to your local drinking
establishment :-) -- Nigel Metheringham in exim-users
<Erk> monkey's code is tamper-proof
<moray> it seems strange to expect mk270 to be predictable, anyway...
<EvilKobra> true... catastrophes are always like that, aren't they
<EvilKobra> you never know when they're going to strike again
> So what *is* the right word for having a non-empty threat model for
> moderate and rational reasons?
Shrewd. -- Russell Nelson and Matt Curtin
<doop> An RMS clippy would be more effective [than vrms]. "It looks like you're
trying to install from non-free!"
<Quidity> Could the redirect not say "NO, YOU'RE WRONG AND ..."
<lathos> You're a grotesquely ugly freak?
<doop> I'd love to go to bed at 9pm each night; I just need a few extra hours
between 8pm and 9pm. Five would be ideal.
<splidge> and yeah, say what you like about IRC but it beats MSN/ICQ/... etc.
<Diziet> That's like saying that Windows is nice because it's better than CP/M.
<Art> Are you a cute girl?
<rejs> No, but I have a friend who is.
<Kami> Let me guess, she's either married or a lesbian?
<antinomy> hrm. where is the girl?
<rejs> I often wonder.
<Stark> A common question.
<lathos> Oioh. I think I love XSL.
<lathos> I just wrapped some text in a <fuckhead> tag and it did what I wanted
it to.
<rejs> He'll only have a half though.
<rejs> Underneath another half.
<rejs> Followed by another pair of halves.
<rejs> And probably two more.
"I know, let's invent something with all the downsides of the Windows Registry"
-- Christophe Rhodes on GTK Internals
> If you've any numbers you think I should put in [my new mobile phone], that'd
> be helpful.
I think you should put in e. No rounding allowed.
-- Alex Gough and Stephen Gower
* antinomy has just had the fun of listening to young mothers cajole, threaten
and curse their offspring in the changing rooms :)
<antinomy> it's all in aid of reminding me what a good idea contraception is :)
<lathos> package OUCS::CourseBooking::Course;
@ISA = qw(OUCS::CourseBooking::SmokeAndMirrors);
<lathos> Or you could use her as a phone-to-ytalk gateway, which is an
eminently sensible use for a human.
<stargirl> aha! how does your webstats thing work?
<stargirl> what does it do?
<stargirl> how will it enrich my life?
<stargirl> how do I fully utilise it?
* wood2 has no idea of wedding dress protocol
<jon> protocol is that the bride wears the wedding dress, not wood2
* martin *heart* palm.
<Kosai> martin: Do it, sure, but don't _talk_ about it.
Q. Why are goths bisexual?
A. They can't tell either.
-- Red Drag Diva
<rga24> I think I'd have more to fear from mk270 =)
<mjj29> the number of his attempts to take over the world is still increasing..
<rga24> Exponentially
<stargirl> information theory is gorgeous
<Scotsman> You need to get out more, stargirl 9-)
<rejs> He wants taglines? He can have "OUCS - Routing, Teaching, Filestore,
Mail"
>>[a laptop] means I'll be able to program in bed, one of my lifelong ambitions
>Oh, you call that programming, do you?
Hey, I only look at those pages for the JavaScript!
-- Malcolm Ray and Peter da Silva
<lathos> Yes, Ray was the significant factor in turning one pint into x pints.
<Art> Schroedinger's woman?
<lathos> You either know what mood she's in or what she's going to bitch at you
about, but not both?
[lathos should have known the distinction between Schroedinger and Heisenberg]
Just don't try and use Microsoft Word instead of LaTeX, if you're looking
for virus protection.
-- Peter da Silva
<stargirl> if I could have a famous person's butt I'd want kylie's
<kylemad> i wish i could quickSort(kyle.room)
<Scotsman> Pivot about the middle element
<sde1000> That would only be efficient if your room was not almost tidy anyway.
<lathos> I need a bat-belt.
<rejs> bat-belt?
<lathos> Have leatherman, toolkit, mobile phone, and falling-down trousers.
* rejs didn't know you had a trouser-wearing bat.
<mobbsy> I keep typing "pint" instead of "ping" - I think my subconscious
wants to be my unconscious
<mjj29> and I get to eat lunch in the cafeteria over [in the Cavendish]. Yay.
<stargirl> ooh yummy
<stargirl> alternatively you could eat a sheet of cardboard, which may be more
tasty and nutritious ;-)
Perhaps a rebranding [of the University of Cambridge], to for example
"Camsignia" is a distant wish of some?
-- Mike Clark
[about thinkgeek's caffeinated soap]
Take coffee *and* soap into the shower? No, I just wash and go!
-- Philip Armstrong
> Or rather, "My Network Places". What were they thinkin- Oh, I see.
So that the firewall can say "somebody's trying to touch me in my network
places"? -- Paul Mc Auley and Roger Burton West
<lathos> It's sufficiently infinite. :)
<rejs> It's infinite for small values of infinity.
<doop> Rar. I have the code that goes PNG.
<Krystof> Seminar title: "Casual Perturbations in a General FRW Universe"
<Krystof> Do we think they meant "causal", perhaps?
[about football, and why people follow it]
<mike> but when it comes to world cup, it's a big thing
<phil> jupiter is a big thing, doesn't mean everybody has to get into astronomy
[About Rebecca Ore putting "writing fiction" on her CV:]
Most of the technical documentation I've read almost certainly qualify as works
of fiction. And if I were going to pick a genre, it'd probably be fantasy.
-- Matt McLeod
Nah, it's easy: ``Min syster har bidragit med ett gäng'' == ``My sister
was once bitten by a moose''. Note the change in grammatical construction
from the original Norwegian, ``A møøse bit my sister once.'' &c. &c.
-- David Richerby on understanding Swedish
[about the W32/Yaha.E virus putting Exim's name in the headers]
Kipling's words come to mind: "If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
/ Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,"
-- Philip Hazel
The difference between an Englishman and an (Australian)|(American): An
Englishman thinks 200 miles is a long distance, an Australian/American thinks
200 years is a long time.
-- Peter da Silva
[About HavenCo:]
If all they want is the climate, then why don't they just tow it somewhere
warm? -- murble (aka Bill Boughton)
> What about OSI standard sex? Not practical in a small bed, of course.
Indeed. Seven layers, not counting the layees.
-- Malcolm Ray and Rik Steenwinkel
> The different version of BSD exist for a reason.
Absolutely, but I don't think you know what that reason is.
-- Alex <freebsd-reply@akruijff.dds.nl> and
Dag-Erling Smorgrav <des@ofug.org>
* ti boggles as to how the fuck you accidentally pick out last year's messages,
based on a utime (seconds-since-1970) timestamp!
<ti> It's like poking your eye out with a needle from a haystack!
> How do you get drunk on sake?
I can't think of a non-facetious answer to this, so; "Open mouth. Insert sake.
Swallow." -- Fan Li Tai and David Damerell
<Kosai> Bah. How do you pad "I want to have lunch with you on Monday." into a
proper e-mail, with that whole politeness thing?
<doop> echo "Hello, could I possibly tempt you out to lunch on Monday? love
Chris" | mail -s '3y3 s3xx0r j00!!!!11!' person@domain.com
<anon> media coverage != important
<anon> popidol didn't make it to /.
<nou> Argh. In order to understand Artplex::Hierarchy::Node, I need to
understand a method in Artplex::Hierarchy, but in order to understand
that, I need to understand Artplex::Hierarchy::Node
<nou> I want to go home, there is sane code there.
<murb> isn't MySQL like an SQL interface onto a text file or /dev/random or
something?
<rejs> There should be a special version [of the WING mail frontend] for
sending mails about OUCS, called Whinge.
<quartz> A computer here is on fire. It's recently changed its name to phoenix.
<jon> as in "2.718... is a /8 drug"
After having recently seen Minority Report, I've taken to referring to [the
Department of Homeland Security] as the Department of Precrime.
-- Simon Cozens
A sendmail
by any other name
Would still
HELO just.as.swe.et -- Greg Andrews
<lathos> The only commitment I need right now comes from CVS.
>>If we don't trim our quotes, the terrorists have already won.
>Why do you hate America so much?
Game over. Terrorists win.
-- sharkey, Adam Thornton and Peter da Silva
>A heartily approve of this plan, since it wouldn't bother any rational
>.usian in the slightest.
You asked both of them?
-- David P Murphy and David Iain Greig
Peter da Silva>> Just wait, everything from Oregon to Alaska is going to
Peter da Silva>> become the United States of Microsoft.
Darrell Fuhriman> That's not funny. You take that back, right now.
Peter da Silva> Or what? You'll exile me to Walmart or Procter and Gamble?
<chris> ok, question: what determines the source address when sending packets
from a linux box with many aliases?
<chris> best we can come up with is 'phase of the moon'
>I think I'd rather [my business card] said system administrationizer - it
>wouldn't be any worse than, let me think... Junior System Support Assistant.
That's just so cute! Now run along and play with your 'My Little Solaris', and
one day maybe you'll be a real system support assistant. --Mike and Malcolm Ray
It's fairly unusual to plan to employ a sysadmin only for a short time.
Most people don't feel embarrassed about employing sysadmins.
Employing sysadmins is legal in most countries.
-- Roger Burton West comparing prostitutes to sysadmins
>Basically, people got tired of portability problems in building shared
>libraries so they hid them all inside a multi-thousand line shell script
>where no one can ever find them because everyone who tries goes blind.
Libtool is a Langfordian fractal basilisk?! -- Russ Allbery and Tony Finch
<Krystof> The software should never be unstable
<Krystof> far, FAR better to return an error message saying "set me up
properly, dammit" than guessing
>[enjoying what I was worried was becoming] a GC[==Gun Control] flamewar.
Yeah, when you have one bunch on the "reference count" side and the other bunch
on the "mark and sweep" side going at it hammer and tongs, it's just unpleasant
for everyone. -- Michael Farebrother and Dave Brown
<jon> london to reading to brighton(?) to gloucester to birmingham to mk!
<jon> sort your routing out!
<wood2> dodge shit cisco kit
<jon> yeah yeah, pass the buck. Pass it round most of southern England ...
[in a discussion about the openssh-3.4p1 trojan:]
<doop> I want a Theocam.
<Ratz> If a book on LaTeX isn't under computing, what else is it likely to be
under?
<Ratz> Apparently we don't have a typesetting section.
<lathos> Ratz: Fetishism.
>There's something in Belgium?!?
http://www.chimay.com/
-- David Richerby and Peter da Silva
<chris> hmm, no one's said 'su -\n<random girl's name>\n' in here for a
while... :)
<lathos> I have no idea how to make XS grok enums.
<lathos> This wouldn't be quite so embarrassing if I hadn't just co-authored
the definitive book on XS.
<Aviator> I never saw the attraction of porn - why should I watch somebody else
having all the fun?
mikea>If you're going to be a good *nix sysadmin, you'll need someone to do
mikea>the housework, shopping, &c.
adb >SWMBO and I are both *nix sysadmins; what's plan B?
tori >Polyamory. Keep adding partners until one of 'em isn't a sysadmin.
> Note that I am not associated with The FreeBSD Project in any official
> capacity. I'm just filling a hole [as I perceive it] as best I can in my own
> little way.
And *that*, folks, is how things happen in FreeBSD. -- D J Hawkey and M Lucas
> >A cordial invitation to READ THE WHOLE FUCKING THREAD BEFORE POSTING.
> You seem tense.
Be fair. I did say "cordial".
-- Simon Cozens and Peter da Silva
>}Hell, I'd trade you just Munich for the whole of Florida.
>With or without the humans ?
Nice try, but there aren't any humans in Florida.
-- Darrell Fuhriman, Richard Ashton, and Ron Echeverri
<Art> No, they[WorldCom] will be broken up, and the money from the assets will
be used to fund a pig aviary.
[about Ben Laurie beating DJB at pool during DEFCON]
<rejs> djb-pool. It accomplishes the same task (ie getting balls into pockets)
but in a totally idiosyncratic way using highly arcane code.
# spliced in BenLine(tm) from suppose-RT, and later PhilFixed(tm) it
-- Phil Lanch's changes to Ben Laurie's code
I don't know what's worse: the fact that I was too subtle for Lionel or that I
was too unsubtle for Rebecca.
-- Peter da Silva
Now I'm picturing a M$ marketing focus group in 1994 or so discovering people
want their computer to be "more like cable TV", and formulating a Requirement
that Win95 display a blue screen when it has nothing better to show.
-- Anthony de Boer
[after a comment about TCP session hijacking]
<wizard> Right, nopacket move, this is a hijacking
<jon> any trouble and we'll fragment the lot of you
<doop> The linux kernel build system is hilariously byzantine.
<mbm> hilarious is not necessarily the word I'd use.
<doop> Well, it made me laugh.
<doop> I'm not racist, but have you seen how much trouble the Koreans cause?
<doop> They should be blocked at the border routers and forced to go back to
UUCP.
1) the "Pizza Thief" exploit, a minor security issue involving FTP
connections when the PASV mode is being used.
-- SGI Security Advisory 20020305-03-I
All suck sucks. Suck is the only constant in our universe. The not-universe
sucks at it, and thereby the universe expands constantly. So here's to the
suck theory. -- Ron Echeverri
I am entertained, but unsurprised, that those who would sell us "trust"
technology start out by lying to us.
-- James A. Donald <jamesd@echeque.com> on Palladium
>And I haven't been able to finish The Diamond Age.
That's okay, neither had the author...
-- Lieven Marchand and Chris Pinard
<jon> that sounds like a D&D character: "bunker sysadmin (neutral/good) with
opensrs powers, 12 health points, 30 experience points. Inventory:
battered laptop, a spliff"
<Acronym> what I want is narcotics, I suspect
<Acronym> life's being crap and i want a holiday.
* pjc51 isn't sure that the canteen sells narcotics
<Aviator> if only "Microsoft Money" gave you Microsoft's Money. Then I'd
install it...
<Sys64738> mbm: All software that doesn't make assumptions about internal
kernel structures, yes [ran on both VM systems in the 2.4 series]
<Sys64738> Thankfully Linux tends to be free of those (due to the constant
changes in internal kernel structures)
* jon has the router password .... muhahahahahah!
<jon> all of XXXXXXXX is now in my hands ....!
<jon> and we have no management until Tuesday ....
-!- jon [jon@XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.com] has quit [Ping timeout]
>>Any comments [on Exegesis 5]?
>Other than that I'm terrified of Perl 6?
Why? This stuff's no scarier than, say, lex and yacc. (Okay, I realize that's a
bad example... :) -- Lucy McWilliam, Stephen Turner and Dan Sugalski
<richardA> well if it has to make a noise to alert me, why not a nice noise?
<moray> richardA: because you're about to cut it off by answering the phone?
<moray> richardA: I'd at least insist that the phone knew how to play a couple
of cadential chords to bring the piece to a forced close
<moray> mbm: though I don't usually have the camera pointing at me, but towards
the window instead
<moray> since, e.g. at the moment I keep on feeling the urge to scratch my
nose, then wondering whether it'll look very silly on camera...
[about OpenSSL]
Well, it's Open Source, in the sense that you can view it...
-- Eric Penfold
* wham2001 experiments with the "holding drawer above box and inverting" method
of packing
<jon> nearly as good as "Hi Root!"
<chris> we often get mail starting 'Hi AS8851!'
Sep 11, 2002 <James> Can I turn the internet off for two minutes?
<James> "reload at 13:46"
<James> On all our routers
<James> that should do the job. ;)
<James> Lucy came round this morning distributing boxing gloves. They're
effectively stress toys, advertising broadband.
<doop> Aha. Punch a friendly BT employee today?
<Krystof> bzip2: You don't think it makes sense for nice things to suck?
<seven32> theres some trendy handykarma jibber on the water cooler thing here
saying "ring us on NNNN, we're happy to talk about anything, though
water cooling is our speciality"
<seven32> i've often thought about putting clients thru to that number
I'm not proud. We really haven't done everything we could to protect our
customers. Our products just aren't engineered for security.
-- Brian Valentine, senior vice-president in charge of MS's
Windows development.
> I think it's pretty sad that you have to EXPLAIN THIS.
he didn't. allow me:
this (pl. these): a shorthand or placeholder for referring to a recently
mentioned object or concept. -- Ron Echeverri and Kjetil T.
<doop> Take your glasses off: cheap antialiasing.
So, to summarize, you ignored most of what I said, but managed to be incredibly
rude. I've noticed you doing the same to lots of others.
Here's a strong suggestion for the future, Anonymous. Never anger the moderator
of a moderated mailing list. -- Perry E. Metzger (moderator, cryptography)
* chris got told he is considered 'not good manager material'
<chris> result!
* jon gets hardware vendors to do the "we fucked up and we're about to lose a
good customer" dance
<Dom> Damn. I want to find out how much data I've put in /dev/null :)
<lathos> Just rm it. :)
<rejs> wc < /dev/null ?
Cui bono?
* jon swears by ODBC.pm talking to M$ Access
<jon> oh, sorry, that should be swears *AT*
It's not a decision tree, it's a small bush
-- John Palmer, talking about my representation of the
decision-tree for the company's bandwidth billing
system.
I've started referring to the proposed action against Iraq as Desert Storm 1.1,
since it reminds me of a Microsoft upgrade: it's expensive, most people aren't
sure they want it, and it probably won't work." -- Kevin G. Barkes
Ratio of cool:clue never seemed right.
-- Lemon on the consume project
>> I'm sorry, it should not be legal to use "nice" and "C++" in the same
>> sentence without a vehement negation.
> "Please nice your C++ compiles."
Right; you see, that's not a valid sentence. It should, of course, read "kill"
-- Peter da Silva, Ben and Simon Cozens
The plaintiff then gets to explain XML DTDs, and why their particular one
should be accepted and the 17 the defendant is presenting shouldn't, to a
60-year-old judge with an arts degree and a jury of people whose VCRs blink
12:00. -- Peter Gutmann
<lathos> Rule of thumb: if you can't remember the word "coffee", you probably
need more.
<Socks> lathos: corollary: if you can't remember the word "beer", you've had
too much.
<doug> hey my pride cant take any big hits like that
<addy> stick to esb then.
>Mozilla is Open Source. Have fun.
I've seen computer-generated Postscript that was more maintainable.
-- MegaZone and Peter da Silva
>in america, we ELECT our kings
Except when you don't.
-- Ron Echeverri and Peter Radcliffe
<doug> fuck this for a game of soldiers
* lemon rolls double 5, takes alaska
Based on a preliminary investigation, WorldCom blamed the outage on problems
with a "route table," or software map that directs traffic to the proper
destination. The company declined to identify the route table manufacturer.
http://www.reuters.com/news_article.jhtml?type=internetnews&StoryID=1532884
If [the UK] were 1/6 of the US's electorate, we could fix most of the problems
that being part of the US would entail.
-- David Damerell
>[...] the bunch of bloody morons who run SPEWS.
I've been lucky enough to avoid them, but have heard enough horror stories...
it's almost as if they're trying to make ORBS look good.
-- Juergen Nieveler and rone
I think his parents should win [the BBC's "Great Britons" vote] for deciding to
name their child Isambard Kingdom Brunel. That's a name and a half.
-- Dave Richerby
<murb> a phone near my desk rings, what do I do? switch off my phobile of
course.
besides, if i want to parse e-mails in colour-coded ancient greek i don't need
to exit! -- Dave 'Aviator' Manning on why to use emacs
<wood2> I bet it was _really_ slowing his computer down.
<wood2> I bet it goes like greased weasel shit now
Server was complaining of bad blocks and requesting a manual fsck, which I duly
obliged. -- Paul Lightfoot
<jon> how do you cancel a ping?
<jon> ICMP ECHO FORGETABOUTIT?
<chris> goes with ICMP REDIRECT DONTBESOSTUPID, i spose
<mike> btw I recorded a single with Giant Haystacks many years ago
<ti> I tried to play one of their records, but the stylus got hopelessly lost
So long as society continues to turn a blind eye to the harvesting of serpents
for lipids, the international trade in snake oil will continue unabated.
-- Perry E. Metzger on the cryptography mailing list
Apart from anything else, the reason I don't use PHP on my personal machines is
that I think it's about as good a language as a collision between all the bad
bits of Perl and all of Visual Basic.
-- Chris Andrews
> You Brits! Leave you alone with a language for _five_ minutes, and see what
> you've done to it!
We wonder the same thing about Americans ;)
-- Mike Andrews and Peter Corlett
>I realised last night that I'm probably an anarchist. I'm not sure how to
>treat myself after that.
Treat yourself to a nice beer.
-- Simon Cozens and rone
>[Official Secrets Acts]. They do indeed make the colour of the carpet, the
>office telephone number and the contents of the tea trolley state secrets.
MI5 carpets are blue. Its telephone number is 020 79309000. The contents of the
tea trolley are sadly not disclosed. -- David Hansen and Philip Rowlands
<jon> funkbot, standard disclaimer
<funkbot> all information, command lines, data and code fragments given in IRC
are used at the users own risk. Resembelance to real code, functional
or otherwise is strictly coincidental
> is there any way to hide perl scripts.
I keep mine in a locked filing cabinet, filed under "Sund. Exps."
-- Vakeel Ahmad and Simon Cozens
>> Okay, so occasionally I try to type :wq in TextPad. And occasionally I try
> My main one is the "ISentence" or the "iword".
I always figured that's how Sun came up with iPlanet.
-- Janet McKnight, Par Leijonhufvud and Rob Mortimer
<Ben> hmmm - what's the term that comes between "tweak" and "frob"?
<ti> "small, controlled change"?
>with a bit of effort I can manage 50 [digits of pi]. Yet I need to keep a
>shopping list in my PDA otherwise I'd forget to buy toilet paper.
You keep too much shit in your brain to actually need toilet paper?
-- Malcolm Ray and Dave Richerby
<addy> i have a friend called ping.
<addy> and that's her real name.
<lemon> ah bless, he thinks his binaries are real ppl :)
<Aviator> [MI6's] corporate image has been somewhat tarnished though
<Aviator> "You expect me to talk?" "No Mr. Shayler, I expect you to diet!"
<bzip2> WHY are girls so messed up?!?!
<kylemad> bzip2: the problem is NP complete....
>Come to that, where are the pick-up tips that actually *work*, dammit?
Bend your knees. Don't lift with your back.
-- Peter Corlett and rone
<ti> "Doth the programmer understand it? Is it deterministic? Does it make for
simple testing, like paradigms of yore? Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore!'"
My video card has more than a million times more RAM than the first system I
fell in love with. This scares me.
-- Adam Thornton
* monkey makes mental note to self "must learn to read"
<ti> just as well it's a mental note
You have 1st, 2nd etc preference, and instead of just counting the votes,
someone goes and spends a week with Excel and declares a random person the
winner. -- Chris Andrews on Alternative Transferable Voting
This brings to mind a question: does anyone make refrigerators with dual power
supplies? I mean, shouldn't we be protecting our beer at least as well as we
protect our data? -- J. D. Baldwin
<ti> ACME:: modules of yellow and green towering over your head
<ti> look for the monkey with the Sun(R) is his house & he's gone ...
I'd much prefer it if [the exim default bounce message] said:
"Microsoft Exchange software running at $primary_hostname - complaints to
support@microsoft.com"
-- Nigel Metheringham
>That stuff's lethal with vodka in.
However, slightly less lethal than without.
-- Rob Chanter and Adam Thornton on Irn Bru
Libertarianism isn't loony, but libertarians often are.
-- rone
<lathos> How do you get powerpoint to pause between bullets?
<rejs> Aim at the computer.
... thinking that software can protect you from forged DNS packets with the
current DNS protocol is like thinking that shorts and a T-shirt will protect
you from the winter wind in Chicago.
-- Dan J Bernstein
[...] to be blunt, [ESR]'s a condescending asshole who has no concept of the
line of differentiation between his personal opinions and what the rest of the
world thinks and therefore makes regular use of the royal "we."
-- Russ Allbery
Earlier this week I saw a car with "Postal Police" on it and wondered just what
would happen if a policeman went postal in this manner...
-- Stephen Harris
Oh, I dunno, I still use British Gas. Shame it's actually electricity I seem to
get from them... And the way they calculate the bill suggests they bought one
of Enron's old computers.
-- Peter Corlett
>I have got British Telecom trained. They don't cause me any trouble now.
You are a God, or a liar.
-- Peter Corlett and Richard Ashton
<Sys64738> warlock: You were being a loud drunken twat. In Market Square.
<Sys64738> We came close to putting you in a taxi and saying "Hull"
<wham2001> Sys64738: I think Hull has quite enough drunken twats as it is...
<Sys64738> wham2001: Yeah, but he wouldn't have been in Market Square any more
<fanf2> what kind of dickwit writes install scripts in C?
<fanf2> oh djb *sigh*
[on virus scanning:]
I mention in passing that I was *quite* enlightened the day our now-ex-CEO sent
me some secret business plans in order to have my advice.
-- Anthony de Boer
> So, anyone know how to delete OE and not have Windows resurrect it in a few
> seconds?
Nuke the machine from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
-- rone and David Richerby
I don't fancy Legolas but I become deeply envious when I compare the amount of
time he has to spend sorting his hair out after, say, fighting a gazillion orcs
and the time I have to spend sorting my hair out after, say, I sleep for a few
hours. -- David Richerby
<ti> BREAKING NEWS --- ACME TREE CONTAINS USELESS RUBBISH
<jon> Acme::Film->new(time=>'11')
At this point I feel obliged to tell the story about my uncle, the video camera
and the waterfall. It didn't occur to him that, while still cameras can do
landscape and portrait with equal efficacy, video cameras aren't much use in
portrait mode unless you also rotate your television. -- David Richerby
It is easier to gain forgiveness than permission.
<doop> Happiness is a screenful of gcc -Wall -pedantic -Wmissing-prototypes
without warnings.
While it is true that no two snowflakes are alike - so far - they do come in
six basic categories: needles, columns, plates, needles capped by plates, stars
and dendrites. Railtrack classifies all six as the wrong kind of snow.
-- Tim Dowling in the Guardian
Things the Office Assistant will never say (courtesy of boli):
"It looks like you're trying to plan the next mission to Mars. Would you like
it to get there in one piece, or shall I use Excel's standard mathematical
functions?"
Things the Office Assistant will never say (courtesy of boli):
"It looks like you will want to share this document. Would you like me to save
it in a non-proprietary standards-based format?"
Things the Office Assistant will never say (courtesy of jon):
"It looks like your Windows program is trying to interface with a program on
another operating system. Go <here> for full details of the API, explanation of
the errors, and sample code"
Things the Office Assistant will never say (courtesy of boli):
"It looks like you're trying to get some work done. Would you like me to leave
you alone, or pester you with inane requests?"
Things the Office Assistant will never say (courtesy of wood2):
"It looks like you have used 3 fonts already, would you like to annoy your
readers more?"
Things a programmer will never say (courtesy of chris):
"Is this coffee too strong?"
> serious syslog output goes to tickertape.
Use a Jacquard Loom. It weaves system messages into a long scarf.
-- Peter da Silva and Paul Tomblin on case mods
Don't know about yours but our government and opposition are more or less
indistinct. The only way you can tell the difference between them is that the
opposition start their rants `This government...' and the government refers to
the opposition as `they'. -- Dave Richerby
<chris> hmm, SIGMBM. delivered by the kernel in response to an rfc violation?
:)
>> Ah. The closet. Duh. And the innwench who becomes a concubine. Duh.
> I *so* need to upgrade my news server.
She unfortunately requires yet another configuration file with a completely
different syntax. -- solitaire, Adam Thornton and Russ Allbery
You know there is something wrong when...
you ifconfig up an interface, and within 10 seconds the box has a load of 233.
-- James Samuel
<doug> I'd give a root acct for a blowjob
<wood2> tcpnice and tcpkill are great for kazaa
* chris usually unplugs the cable
<chris> which of course works on udp as well
It's well-known that perl weighs the same as a duck, anyway.
-- Ben 'kitty' Evans
> I dreamt last night of WW2-stylee landing craft sailing up Regent St.
I hope they paid the congestion charge.
-- David Cantrell and Dean Wilson
<dr_jon> murb: basically what we are saying is dont be a sucker, call a lawyer
<ti> don't be a sucker, delegate to a leech
<ti> Reasons to make staff redundant:
<ti> #733: more chance of musical compatibility between the survivors
<stargirl> you know, I really like resting my feet on potato because I can feel
when I have new mail
<dr_jon> hmm, this random scsi drive has a copy of "stardude.exe" on it
<ti> "dude, where's my star"?
It's quite scary when they advertise for someone with 'Pearl' and 'SeekWell'
skills. -- Nigel Hamilton about recruitment agencies
>Before you know it the average CV will be two pages long but 100 Meg in byte
>size.
...i.e. a normal Word document?
-- Nigel Hamilton and Roger Burton West
<Piglet> 1 article about the bunker calls Georgina[Bunker sales] the e-mistress
<Piglet> the e-mistress and her dungeon ;)
<ti> Someone needs to explain difference between BSD and BDSM
<ti> BSD: for sysadmin who are _not_ masochists!
>I think he's saying that natural languages shouldn't be modelled on Perl.
Better that than the nam-shub of Ousterhout.
-- Peter da Silva and Malcolm Ray
What we need is a personal firewall with the crocodile hunter's personality.
"alert alert danger! We just got a packet on port 53! I got a nasty bruise from
one of them once..."
-- Peter da Silva
<Kowalski> imdb is your friend
<seven32> thanks, i was getting lonely
<mbm> bloody hell, why is java such a PitA ?
<monkey> Hay, hay, its not that bad - easy to program
<wood2> monkey: so is basic
<ti> we don't need no documentation
<ti> we don't need no source control
<ti> no preconditions in the comments
<ti> coworkers leave that monkey alone
When I joined London.pm, I decided that I'd post about any really good agents I
encountered. Two and a half years on, it hasn't happened yet.
-- Roger Burton West
Of _course_ not... Bananas smell like yummy fruit. Isopentyl acetate smells
like banana flavouring...
(think of the difference between "a mail client", and "outlook express")
-- Iain 'big' Chalmers
Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken.
<doop> Compile-time checking is for wimps.
<doop> Real men use mprotect(2).
Mailman is the most egregiously-misnamed thing in the whole GNU collection;
with its monthly cycle it should obviously be named Mailwoman.
-- Anthony de Boer
* crazyscot adds April 5 to his diary.
<pm215> Maybe next year you could get one that has all the days in it already
:->
<steph> Hmm. A spam entitled `he hit me' bounced. The bounce bounced with
`account deactivated due to abuse'
* Ben realises ADSL works best when router is turned on.
<chris> do you have 'listen-on-v6 53 { a.b.c.d; };' or so?
<chris> *cough* XXXX:XXXX:XXXX::x *cough*
Q: What regular expression do you often see around christmas?
A: [^L]
Note that in past years the RFC Editor has sometimes published serious
documents with April 1 dates. Readers who cannot distinguish satire by reading
the text may have a future in marketing.
> Out: 220 XX.XXXXX.XXX ESMTP Postfix
> In: <PRE>HELO 127.0.0.1</PRE>
> Dear god.
-- Peter da Silva
<rejs> Hmm. Some judge threw out a juror for wearing an "fcuk" T-shirt. I
hope someone hits him with a picture of King Cnut.
Every one of us today stands on the shoulders of giants. Most of us take
advantage of this situation by pissing from a greater altitude.
> Or public authorities could self-regulate themselves
Have you considered a career in stand-up? I believe they have open mike
sessions at the Comedy Store still where you could try that line out.
-- Simon Watkin (Home Office) and Ian G Batten
It's inconceivable that Tony Blair won't win the vote[on whether to go to
war] tomorrow. He's got all of the conservative party behind him.
-- Andrew Marr (BBC TV News Political Editor)
Never mind Damerell, he's been cranky ever since they outlawed bicycle bells.
-- rone
<sjmurdoch> Is it a black helicopter. If so then it is nothing to do with me,
I'm not here, I haven't even heard about the Security group
The first casualty of war is truth.
-- Hiram W Johnson
<jon> boy must them yanks be pissed. spending all that money on IR kit, and war
breaks out the week with a full moon
<FluffyCat> Why does XSetInputFocus not seem to do what I want it to do?
<pm215> because this is X11
<FluffyCat> Is there any way of telling the window manager to fuck off?
<rjk> "dear twm, fuck off, love, richard"
<steph> Memo to self: commented out code does not run
<fanf> USA plans to divide iraq into three after the war
<fanf> leaded, unleaded and diesel
Things really do get around, and while I wouldn't want to work for [deleted]
again (may the spittle of a thousand camels infest his telephone earpiece), I
also know that the consequences of spouting off can be unpredictable and are
rarely good. -- void (Ben)
<col> "Is this really the release version, or is it a taster version that you
courageously released while your QA team was on holiday?"
<boli> Computers are like air conditioners.
<boli> They stop working when you open Windows.
<KH> trying to find the right bolts for 19" racks is a good way to remember
"The wonderful thing about standards.."
* dr_jon reminds wood1 that UK road ettiquette is likely to be somewhat
different to tanzanian
<mbm> wood1 will take no notice, I'm sure!
* dr_jon thinks the inhabitants of ditches and hedges better be on the lookout!
I find that indent provides a good metric for how hairy your code is. If it
dumps core, you need to clean up your code.
-- Dave Brown
<dr_jon> hmm, if i put an infinite number of monekys in a room, with mobile
phones and copies of M$ Exchange and M$ Project, I will get an
effective middle manager?
If we believed in gentlemanly behaviour then we would not be in the Security
Group. -- George Danezis
<chris> ooer, ospf for the tube, spanning tree for pubs, whatever next?
A friend of mine has the Problem of Evil nicely summarized on a bumper sticker:
"Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnibenevolent. Pick two."
-- Adam Thornton
> Deploying a shitload of overspecced ftp servers. We do not have root.
It's Red Hat, so that should be a short-term problem, no?
-- Tai and Peter da Silva
<wood1> can you do transparent colours, i think i saw it somewhere
* dr_jon passes wood1 some transparent paint
The question, "Will a key with more bits give me better security?" is a lot
like the question, "Will more cylinders in my car engine make me go faster?"
-- Jon Callas
<srini> actually, as a contract hardware engineer, I care a lot but today I'm a
windows user
<fanf2> <srini> today my diary says "drool"
Oracle - You need a database. Larry needs a new boat.
<chris> i'd like tab-complete on my life
<chris> and a new ios image, i think
<ti> "The Function with No Name"
<ti> and other spaghetti code westerns
<dr_jon> the good, the bad, and the entirely undocumented
> Kids today. Why, you tell 'em about ten users in 128 kilobytes, ten meg hard
> drives the size of a Maytag, they believe you. Tell them about booting a
> single-user operating system in 16 megabytes, they think you're pulling
> their leg. -- Peter da Silva
<KH> at one time validator.w3.org was perfectly willing to verify the page
http://127.0.0.1:19/
<KH> but it never came with a verdict about its html validity :)
[about mbm]
<ti> his code works, he finds bugs, but his coffee is undrinkable
<Helios> so, for the next four days, the streets of reykjavík and nearby town
of hafnarfjörður are going to be filled with eccentric foreigners in
chain mail with swords and helmets.
<arcas> as opposed to eccentric locals in chain mail with swords and helmets? :>
<fanf2> if the banks there are anything like wells fargo in sfo you really
don't want to ask the staff to do anything more complicated than fart
I've been called an "Exim God" and an "MTA God", but sadly this has not
conferred on me the ability to forecast the future. <grin>
-- Phil Hazel
* murble doesn't keep a diary, i just assume things will clash horribly.
* chris has never even thought about drivers for OSX though
<chris> though i've been drinking the Steve Jobs kool-aid a bit
<chris> but the stuff in 10.3 looks really shiny
Do any churches offer gluten-free body of christ? Just in case some of their
flock have problems digesting their saviour?
Now I'm wondering how long it'll be before churches start putting up big signs
saying "this body of christ may contain traces of nut" -- Rob Blake
<sjmurdoch> Pah, Nigerian scam email offering $6 million. I don't get out of
bed for less than $10 million
A successful sysadmin must accept no limits on his laziness. -- Peter da Silva
In my experience, your virginity is only a big deal until you lose it.
-- FlamingMonkey
Guys don't tend to find anti-guy rants offensive. That'd require emotion and
sensitivity :-) -- Dom Robinson
On The Internet, Nobody Knows You Wear Conservative Pajamas.
-- Anthony de Boer
Shyness is not something to sing and dance about ya know
-- Jemima Donald
<ti> it's like sausages
<ti> the less you know about how openssl is made, the better
"Google is your friend, your lover, your confidante and confessor. Google
knows all, sees all, tells all. Bow down before the might of Google!"
-- Peter da Silva, responding to $LUSER's complaint that they
couldn't find something (after too many repeats of the same).
alternatively, if the IETF could be tricked into issuing an RFC for Esperanto,
then i'm sure Lusercop would be fluent in no time.
-- Phil Lanch
<ernie> SMTP over bacon?
<col> 250 OINK
<antinomy> pigs don't go oink. they go grunt. or growl. or squeel.
<rejs> Or "'ello 'ello 'ello, wot's all this then?"
"Verisign: the value of trust - we don't know the difference between priceless
and worthless" -- Peter da Silva
* chris chuckles at the world record for a golf putt - 5 miles!
<chris> (held by Suggs, done from one end of concorde to the other!)
<chris> hmm. i thought the first thing you learned when selling leased lines
was the postcode for Telehouse Docklands ...
[on morris dancing:]
<dr_jon> cats, cats know they look ridiculous when you tie bells to them
<dr_jon> why is it different for middle aged men?
* boli has never tied a cat to a middle-aged man
<rmc28> the last time I saw my closest school friends I had just split up with
my ex :(
<Pinkbeast> that's odd, most people split up with their currents. Splitting up
with an ex is a bit redundant.
<Nicolai> you have to bear in mind that cricket is a game made to go with fine
beer and a warm day
<pdh> I thought you Poms prefered warm beer and a fine day?
<dr_jon> no point in shooting myself in the foot
<brum> yy face everytime
<dr_jon> i imagine wood1's html is about as good as his Swahili
Many administrators don't give their users the time of day; that's what NTP is
for. -- Tim Mullen
<Aviator> i keep going to bed at the wrong times
<Aviator> i think my body clock is flashing 12:00
<Pinkbeast> How can I say, politely, "this isn't an argument, it's a heap of
rhetoric"
<mbm> what have you done with the real damerell?
<Pinkbeast> The real damerell is alive and well and isn't allowed to answer
david.damerell@oracle.com's email.
<doop> FORTRAN! Because your blood pressure is too low, and the wall has too
few head-shaped dents
<chris> "Delighting our customers is our top priority. " - bastards are going
to steal my lights now?
You know how stupid the average user is? Well, 50% are even stupider than that!
* doop has an 80-column mind.
<Helix> BROADEN YOUR MIND
<murble> dr_jon: oh do Al-Queda exist?
<dr_jon> in the same way unicorns do, very much so, yes
<lathos> Hrm, an addition to dsmtpd [the drunk smtpd], I think: "550 This
appears to be a reply to a mailing list post within 5 minutes of the
original post. You are probably too angry to reply now. Please calm
down and resubmit."
<JD> what, like I know it leaves my outlook express and magically turns up at
the other end on hotmail using carrier walruses
<chris> FUCKING STUPID WINDOWS DEVELOPER BARELY EVOLVED POND-LIFE SCUM
<chris> yeah, it's a *great* idea to have your installer install your software
to D: then hard code C: into the app
<lathos> mike: Yeah. Perl is bad because people are stupid.
<lathos> Chinese is unreadable. Chinese is a stupid language.
<lathos> "This is Mandarin Perl. I only speak Cantonese."
Why use perl? -- Simon Cozens, ox.programming.misc
* rejs plays with his new wireless kit
<Socks> People call them radios these days, old man.
> Do finance folks use excel - I thought they learnt thier lesson
Just like the way people who still use Outlook learn their lesson with every
passing virus. -- Jacqui Caren and Simon Cozens
<mbm> murb: 15:37 <@mbm> and you'll have to do the makemap hash magic on it
<murb> mbm: you wrote that with invisable electrons.
* lathos prefers visible electrons.
<chris> oh god, the tech job situation is now truly dire: joel just posted bar
work to uknot-jobs
> 0.9 FROM_ENDS_IN_NUMS From: ends in numbers
> 'ph10' ... sigh
I'm afraid my "from" has ended in "nums" since 1972... blame my parents for not
giving me enough names. :-) -- Tom Kistner and Philip Hazel
* Diziet writes a mental note in giant marker pen.
<rjk> permenant or wipe-off?
<Diziet> Wipe-off, obviously. My brain is a whiteboard.
<Diziet> (But with more dimensions.)
<Diziet> chel: Well, you don't actually _have_ hundreds of disks, do you ? So
what do you care ? Certainly something like udev is a nightmarish
answer. It's not so much overkill as nuking the wrong planet from
orbit.
<aidehua> Which direction is left? <-- (1) or --> (2)?
<steph> (1)
<aidehua> I suspect I've written directions for someone and got it completely
wrong :)
Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million
typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare. -- Houghton, Blair
<doop> There is a level of sleepdep or something at which syntax-highlighted
code suddenly looks VERY shiny.
<ti> a/c that only works when it's not warm
<ti> That's called a "window"
<chris> hmm, well, if i open it, i see aircontechfoo, not the Big Room :(
<person> a lot of the people I know have LiveJournal as a personal religion
<Aviator> I'm CoE - i believe that Jesus is a middle-class chap from
Oxfordshire with a Land Rover and wellies
<rw-rw-rw-> Perl isn't a programming language. It's a thousand special case
rules flying in close formation around the wrong syntax, waiting
for an unsuspecting programmer to stick his arm in and pull back
a bloody stump.
<rejs> Argh. I have now been at OUCS five years.
<nou> Happy anniversary.
<rejs> No, I'm not buying OUCS any goddamned flowers.
<Noodles> You're not a team player, are you?
> You would have loved the "UK-sendmail" auto-generated Sendmail
> configurations that UK academia was using circa 1990. Well over 1,000
> lines of ... er ... not quite sure how to describe it politely. :-)
Philip, please, I was trying to forget that (and trying to keep down my
breakfast). -- Phil Hazel and Nigel Metheringham
<doop> What does "This ticket allows travel on any permitted route" actually
mean?
<doop> Are there special Russell-paradox tickets which permit you to travel on
routes on which they do not permit you to travel?
* ti hands honk the Arthur C. Clarke award for getting it right in advance
<honk> if only I could do that with better stuff, like space elevators
<ti> $10 prize for moving a jar of sage from the basement to the kitchen
<ti> oh, hang on - that's a spice elevator
This isn't a Mickey Mouse operation, it's Donald Duck! -- Paul Green
<Acronym> "the the" are filed under p
<Acronym> for "pretentious pseudo-student twaddle"
<AJ> They're very silly ... I know something they don't
<AJ> I know a Xen developer. He's on crack :D
<Helios> how strong would an EMP have to be if it were to erase magnetic media?
<scromp> i can wipe out sectors on a floppy disks by jiggling my ass cheeks
really fast. the iron bits in my red blood cells line up sometimes
<matt> yeah, sometimes the shit hits the fan, i just want to know why $COMPANY
has offices infront of the fan...
* Emperor beats the bible into submission
<Emperor> it's only taken, um, 3 hours.
* Art wonders if buying theremins is a justifiable expense
<jaffa> you can make your own
<Art> But I have the soldering ability of a left-handed monkey
<stargirl> anyone here know any anatomy
<Kosai> Yeah, *there's* a question that isn't asking for silly answers. :)
<Socks> Who stole Oxford?
<Kami> Ronnie Biggs. Trains are just so yesterday.
Version control is like teenage sex, everybody is talking about it, most
people ain't doing it and those that are doing it are doing it wrong.
This book is the one you need to help you do it right with Subversion.
-- Dean Wilson - Review Abstract: /Pragmatic Version Control Using Subversion/
-!- __moray changed the topic to: habentne papam?
<__moray> but he's not emerged yet?
<AJ> Must ... not ... make ... emerge jokes ...
<fanf2> -funroll-pope
<Kami> Hey, mine doesn't do anything like that. Mine's domesticated, cuddly
fortran.
<Kami> Fortran you could take home to your parents.
Polyamory? That sounds like some sort of heart condition -- Ben Simpson
<Art> Blimey-onna-stick. The Radcliffe Infirmary site is going to be
redeveloped by the same architect as the WTC-replacements.
<Kami> Are they calling in the same people to demolish the present building?
The code is the crypto equivalent of Heathrow Airport.
-- Peter Gutmann on OpenSSL
"They did their worst, and they managed to disrupt our transport network and
get fatalities in the low double figures. That happens on a fairly regular
basis anyway, you twits. What's your next trick - a fiendish weather control
device which makes it rain on a bank holiday weekend?"
Chiark is what happens when you plug an ethernet cable into an ivory tower.
-- Nicolai
Having a low Slashdot ID is like being proud of having boarded the Titanic
first.
<steph> Never ask sea creatures for web pages.
<steph> As a squirt of ink often offends.
<aurum> goodness. waitrose sells broadband now?
<Kami> Or it's a typo and they meant broad beans.
<Acronym> well,pr0n in general's just another branch of wish-fulfilment,innit?
<Pinkbeast> No-one ever wasted 200 hours of their life on a single pr0n DVD.
Final Fantasy VII, now...
The Philosophy Of Juggling:
Why do you do it? Because I can.
Why did you learn? Because I couldn't.
The Mechanics Of Juggling:
Juggling is finding ever more complicated ways of dropping objects.
<Nicolai> cpan is just yak shaving with one of those articulated-arm
mains-powered sheep shearing cutters
<carwyn> I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight now.
<devbot> Because of the business.
<BurritoB> some people believe in a loving god, or rewards in the afterlife...
others believe in venda share options
<BurritoB> hey, maybe they could teach the theory of share options alongside
Intelligent Design
<Acronym> but the part of my brain that does libido and the part that does
graph theory are ENTIRELY SEPARATE and i like them that way :)
<trwm> mixing business and pleasure always risky
<trwm> like mixing conc nitric acid and glycerine
<Helios> the population of Iceland hit 300,000 this morning.
<Nicolai> does that mean there's someone on the island that you don't know?
* theLlama sings: and I will make 174292 method calls, and I will make 174292
more
Interestingly enough - rendering dozens of plasticine bunnies floating in a
giant vacuum cleaner complete with fake fingerprints is actually easier than
doing websites. Good job Microsoft and Netscape! May you rot in hell. IN HELL!
-- Simon Wistow
It's like a, we just got a copy of APUE and need to use *everything*!
-- Chris Andrews on screen(1)
<ccooke> gah! reiserfsck is almost as bad when it works as when it *doesn't*!
(Completely off-topic, but while I'm mentioning Punycode does anyone know what
the *real* story behind this was? It seems to be the Intercal of character-
set representations... does the background explanation by any chance begin
with "Some mathematicians got drunk and made a bet..."? :-). -- Peter Gutmann
<ccooke> my first run-ins with qmail really showed up the hairiest, nastiest
bits of it
<rw-rw-rw-> the source code? Or the queueing?
<ccooke> okay, *some* of the nastiest bits
<Kvik> carwyn: restoring some dbdump failed. so he printed the error and came
to my desk to show me. I looked and said "that's interesting"
<Kvik> and then he did his "I know your secret language" thing :)
<carwyn> Kvik: Perhaps you should conduct all future conversations in Polish
> When you think about Web Services you think about Amazon.
When I think about Web Services, I think about a stiff drink and a lie down.
-- Dean Wilson and Simon Cozens
<jon> "sorry it didn't work out" as qmail would say
<mbm> the software anthropomorphisation was one of the very many reasons I
detested qmail, but surprisingly, a particularly large one.
<jon> you shouldn't anthropomorphise computers. they really hate it.
<zts> well it turns out that there was a miscommunication
<zts> one team thought we were meant to be hanging ourselves
<zts> the other, that immolation was the way forward
<zts> and so we kinda accidentally burnt our rope
<Kami> Diving photos always look better with girls in them.
<chris> maybe they'll have something like VMS
<cheggers> what, crack?
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
<zts> I'm convinced that digg is slashdot for people with shorter attention
spans
<mbm> what the fuck is <YYYY>-<MM>-<DD>T<hh>:<mm>:<ss> anyway?
<zts> an almost-ISO datestamp template
<chris> it's W3CDTF, isn't it?
<zts> chris: s/3CD//
<Kvik> eternity is time between [enter] and [ctrl-c]
<zts> while an ohnosecond is the time between [enter] and _realising_
you need [ctrl-c]
> If /we/ can't agree on the right way to do it in Perl who the hell can?
This is Perl. We don't agree on things.
-- Andy Armstrong and Tim Sweetman
<lathos> I tried a clean desk policy but it just leads to messy floors.
<t0m> no, but I don't see what you're talking about with this not being 2
factor stuff.. Surely it's something you have, (someone's blackberry)
and something you know (how to use it)...
<t0m> 2 factor, yeah?
besides, most of the modern communication industry is based on the premise of
staying in touch with people you don't actually want to talk to
-- E-Yen Tan